It's hard to accept that my days left in Milledgeville are numbered, and that soon I'll be packing up my room and my favorite memories to go home and then on to Colorado. It's strange to think I've already been in college for four years and here in Milledgeville for three- and stranger to think that when I leave this time, I won't be coming back. It is bittersweet leaving this place. Milledgeville has become my home. I did not love it here at first, but I sure am glad that hearts change and how mine has grown to love this tiny town and the people here.
It is hard for me to put into words how deeply I love Milledgeville. How deeply I've loved my college experience. How deeply I love my community. How deeply I love what life looks like right now. But I think the best kinds of feelings are those that are hardest to put into words.
Someone asked me today how I felt about leaving this place so soon. And I quickly responded "I need more time." I need more time. With these people, in this place. Just a little more time. More time for conversations at Blackbird Coffee, more time for friendships to be formed, more time for pranks to be played. More time for nights spent sitting on the front porch listening to someone strum the guitar. More time for game nights where competition turns hostile and then back to fun. More time for movie nights on the lawn and belly laughs and Bible studies. More time living on the same block as all of my friends. More time to hang out when I should be in class.
More time to soak it all in. I just need more time.
But if we are honest, this isn't the truth. I don't need more time because I've had plenty of time. An abundance of time. Plenty of time with these people, in this place. Enough time to realize what's important in life and what isn't. Enough time to grow and change.
Plenty and enough time to feel full and satisfied and ready.
I wouldn't trade these years for anything- they say you "find yourself" in college- and I believe that to be true. But I think more importantly, I've found what I want my life to look like forever- a life full of good friends, a life with community, a life that is abundant. A life where good outweighs the bad. A life that makes me laugh, that is full of joy, adventure and love.
I know that life will look different next year and the transition won't be easy. But I am thankful that these years have shown me how life is supposed to be lived, and that I can leave this place with the best memories anyone could ask for.
I am thankful that I love this place so much that saying goodbye is so hard.
I am thankful that this town will always have a chunk of my heart.
I am thankful that I will never be the same after being here.
College went by in a blink.
What I would give to do it all again.
