Full

I started my year by reading Shauna Niequest's book, Bittersweet, where she so gracefully introduced me to a new concept that rocked my world this year. Read her book, so it can rock your world, too. She writes:

“The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness. ‘It’s the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy, audacious, earthy.”

As the school year came to a close yesterday, I am grateful for time to rest and reflect this morning on everything that has happened this year. So I sit in my comfy plaid chair in the corner of my room, overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude for everything this year has given and taken away from me. The school year ended a little differently then it began in August, and one thing is for sure- this past year was a whole lot of bittersweet.

It was bitter when getting out of bed in the morning was hard and when times were really really tough. It was bitter when tears trumped smiles and life was dull. It was bitter when exhaustion lingered among the busyness of life; when I had nothing left to give- when I felt empty.

But this morning I feel full, because this year was so sweet too. It was full of strengthened friendships and new experiences. It was full of adventure and opportunity; full of good books and better conversations. Life was sweet when light beat darkness; when I was reminded time and time again that Jesus always wins. 

As I look at the past year and forward to the next one, I realize that only a few things are constant in life, and one of those is change. Change is challenging and confusing, but I'm convinced that change is good. I'll be the first to admit that I am not always a fan of change- it can often be uncomfortable. It can and will shake your world; and when things start to settle, change likes to shake things up again, because change can wreck your world for better or for worse.

But I've learned this past year that change means growth. Growth, too, is constant. And good. Growth means getting better, expanding, maturing. It means working toward bigger things; it means flourishing and thriving; seeking and learning. Growth means becoming a better version of yourself, cultivating goodness in your life and the lives of others. Sometimes growth requires seeking change in your life. It isn't always easy, but we need change to grow, and we should embrace these two things- even when life is bitter and sweet all at the same time.

This year was full of a lot of things- both bitter and sweet. But I feel full, too, as this school year comes to an end. My hope is that change would continue to be abundant in your life just as it has been in mine.

Change and growth are guaranteed and constant.
But so is Jesus, and I'll rejoice in that.

"Anything can happen in a year. Broken down, shattered things can be repaired in a year. Hope can grow in a year, after a few seasons of lying dormant." - Bittersweet, Shauna Niequist