Growing up (I say "growing up" like I am an old lady-I still think I have some growing up to do, but anyways...) I worried about everything. I worried about my house catching on fire, terrorist attacks, plane crashes, etc, and I really worried about thunderstorms. So yes, apparently I am a worrier. And according to the first grade friend (or foe?) whose name I will protect- I am a worrywart: a person who tends to dwell on difficulty or troubles.
As I got older, my unrealistic worries turned into realistic anxieties; and realistic anxieties turned into anxiety. (more on that later). I could list off a hundred things that could lead me to worry-ridden angst, but #1 on the list would definitely be money. The word makes me cringe, and yes-sometimes cry. Though my family was hit hard by the economy crash (explosion? atomic bomb?) in 2009, we have never gone without necessities. I have been #blessed with a sturdy roof over my head, food on the table and family/dogs by my side. I know that my family has been more than fortunate, even when my dad was out of work for a while. But the height of this money-triggered anxiety was freshman year of college while I was at the University of Dayton. I was constantly worrying about the out-of-pocket expenses and student loans due to the private university's tuition. It started consuming my thoughts and by the end of the year it was tainting my freshman year experience. The decision was made to transfer to an in-state college to ease the financial burden on my family and my future of paying off loans.
Which leads me to this- strong work ethic has always been encouraged and exhibited in my family, and my dad is a great example of a hard working man- just as my mom is an example of a hard working woman. And honestly, my decision to stay and work in Milledgeville this summer was mostly fueled by money as well. Having a full time job (working in the Financial Aid office...oh the irony) gives me security for the future. It relieves my money related stresses- temporarily. But does money really leave me satisfied? Does it really give me the safety and security that I am looking for? No, only Jesus does. I've had a lot of time to think this summer and it has lead me to realize (drumroll pleeeaassseeeee)- MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING. It's only taken 20.5 years of existence to realize this, but hey, better late than never!
In my plenty of spare time I have been exploring what scripture has to say about money/finances. Matthew 6:24 says "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Yes! I cannot and will not serve money. I am not here on earth to do that. But I am here to serve God and only him. Studying what scripture says about money also is a magnificent reminder of how God provides. I truly do not have to be anxious about the "m" word, because I have been provided for my entire life-how is this present season of life any different? I think God is teaching me great things by keeping me grounded in Milledgeville- he is teaching me how to use my money to glorify Him and not use it for selfish purposes. I am learning more about myself every single day, and He is freeing me of the anxiety that comes along with the burden of money.
Now, does this mean I am going to quit my job tomorrow and live off the land? No! I am realistic in the fact that if I want to continue my education, live with my friends in my cute apartment (#Carol), and eat at Hibachi Express, then I am most definitely keeping my job. Does this mean I am freed from the slavery of my bi-weekly paycheck? Heck yes.
Money isn't everything. Besides, sometimes you save up the majority of your summer's earnings so far and then you rear end the car in front of you- and end up spending that hard-earned money on a bumper for a 2013 Honda Accord.
Hypothetical situation? You decide.
Hypothetical situation? You decide.
