called to be present.

this season of life has proved to be an interesting one. i love summertime more than most things in life, and all year long i had anticipated a fun summer. as spring semester rolled around i began applying to camps & internships. doors for adventurous opportunities kept closing, and doors for not-so-adventurous things were swinging wide open. april/may rolled around quickly and i found myself agreeing to stay in milledgeville to work in a university office & lead orientations. (don't get me wrong, i am thankful to have a job & one that i prayed about for so long). but summer in milledgeville is definitely not the most adventurous thing that i could be doing. 

it has been very easy to compare this summer to past summers. compare it to the summers i spent at camp high harbour or last summer that i spent in colorado. compare it to other people's summers. i have heard a hundred times "comparison is the thief of joy," but i do not think i had fully grasped that concept until the past month. some days i find myself scrolling down my facebook newsfeed with an envious attitude and a bitter heart towards people that are doing more exciting things than sitting in an office.

and if i could describe my life in one word lately, i would pick "boring". if we are being honest, i never thought that i could be this bored. i kept telling myself that being bored is okay, that being bored meant that i am relaxed...until i looked up the definition of boredom in the dictionary. boredom (n): the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest. weary and restless. these words hit me like a truck. i am not called to be weary. i am not certainly not called to be restless.  

i am not called to be bored. 

but i am called to be present. 

i am called to be here, in milledgeville. i am called to serve the Lord even if  it isn't at a camp. i am called to be where i am because the Lord's plan is so much greater than my own. john 13:7 says "you don't understand now what i am doing, but someday you will." i have been clinging to this hope.

i have been challenged with making this "boring" summer not so boring. this doesn't necessarily mean a wild adventure every day, but it does mean seeking something greater than being weary/restless. this means diving deeper into scripture, exploring new books like ann voskamp's one thousand gifts (more on that later...), praying/writing friends on summerstaff, and yes, watching a few episodes of one tree hill a week (okay, maybe a day). 

i think i have a little bit of a gypsy soul. i can't stay in one place too long. but i think that i am being challenged this summer differently than i have been challenged in the past summers. and for that, i am thankful. i am called to be here, and this is where i will be this summer.

in the present.